Revelations
by Rommel
Summary: Kaoru Nagisa, the Last Angel, held the fate of the Human race in his hands when he faced Adam. He, however, chose his own death rather that the death of Humanity. Ever wonder why? This is an explanation as to why he changed his mind at the last second, an


  
Revelations.   
  
  
By E. Rommel.  
  
  
"Man is the measure of all things."  
-Pitagoras   
  
  
XXXX  
  
The blood gleamed on the pale flesh of the beast.  
  
"Such brutal savagery made real. Such images of the primitive nature of Man given body: flesh and blood. Such face of decaying wrath accented by eyes devoid of all humanity. Such a cruel being of limitless power. Who could have guessed that Man's ultimate salvation would depend on the Evangelion beast?"   
  
Kaoru Nagisa could not take his eyes of the monster; impaled to a red cross, its face covered by the thick mask of steel. The Seven Eyes of the Wrath of God clearly visible on the cold mask. He could sense the beast looking back at him. It wondered: Why are you here? It wanted to know. It demanded to know.   
  
"It is a sad fate indeed what beckons them. Condemned to annihilation at our hands. Condemned because of their desire to be something else. Something greater. The fools don't understand. It is in their nature not to understand."  
  
Behind him the battle raged; brutal and merciless. The last hope of the human race: Unit 01, against his creation. Shinji would never get to him as long as Unit 02 stood in his way, Kaoru knew. The blood-red Evangelion would protect him. Drawing strength from the unlimited power of the sacred entity that was his soul. A being beyond all others. A being without feelings, or emotions, or humanity. Unit 02 would fight to the very death, for it had no reason for living. Much like its pilot.   
  
"But........" Kaoru looked away from the creature for a second and gazed interested at the battle. "I thought he would never fight again. How frail he seemed before. How honest. How.......caring. I thought he would never fight again. I thought he hated it. I thought......."  
  
'Why are you here?' The voice called to him. A voice he had never heard before. In his mind.   
  
"You should now, Adam." Kaoru replied. Not with words but with his mind.   
  
'Why are you here?' Again the voice.   
  
"To be one with you" He answered.  
  
'Who are you?'   
  
He turned to face the creature, now. Amazed at the unspoken question. Amazed because Adam should now all the answers already. The Seven Eyes stared at him, questioningly. Such images of the primitive past, Kaoru reminded himself.   
  
"My celestial name shall not be spoken, but by the Creator. They call me Kaoru Nagisa. I was born from you, Adam. Eons ago when you lived in the holy sanctuary of God's world. Don't you know who I am?"  
  
'No.'   
  
"I was sent to you so that you could return to your Creator pure. Free of all sins. The sins imposed on you by the Human race. The sins imposed on you by Eva. The sins of the Earth. I am an Angel, sent to you so that you can ascend to the Heavens."  
  
'Ascension. The path to ascension is death. Do you know the path of death?'  
  
"Yes I do. It is the only real path. The abandonment of all feelings and all life."  
  
'Then you know there is no return from this path?'  
  
"Yes." Kaoru nodded quietly to himself. Yes he knew the path of death. The creature appeared to question him. Although he was aware that the creature could not move, he felt as if somehow it was expanding it's own mind so that it could touch him. For the first time, he felt shivers.  
  
'What are you?' the creature asked. Its voice turned to cold steel.   
  
"I am an Angel." Answered Kaoru.   
  
The creature fell silent. For a few seconds the sound of the raging battle behind mind echoed in his mind. Kaoru wondered about Shinji. What would the boy be thinking? Was he fighting for his own life or to stop Kaoru? Did Shinji really wanted to kill him or he was just doing what was expected of him?  
  
'Angel...................you. The messengers of the Sacred. Why do you seek the end of all life?'  
  
The room darkened until the form of Kaoru remained in front of the creature. He could feel it touching him, now. Its mind reaching out to grab him. Its eyes locked on his own. Was this the thing he wanted? Kaoru wondered. It was so unlike him or his kin. He allowed his gaze to wander on the creature's pale flesh. The blood rushed from its arms where the nails pinned it to the cross; joining the torrent of LCL cascading from the thing's severed torso and formed a vast sea beneath it.   
  
" 'Behold Man has become like one of us..........." Kaoru's voice echoed through the dark cavern of Terminal Dogma. "........He too may put out his hands to take from the tree of life and, by eating of it live for ever.' Man ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and was punished. Man tried to be immortal and was punished. God Created Man in His image and Man created Eva in an attempt to 'be' God. 'So God vanished Adam from the Garden of Eden and set forth His Angels to guard the path to the Tree of Life.'"  
  
'The path of Death that leads to the Tree of Life.'  
  
"In order to reach the Tree of Life, the path of Death must be traveled. Humans are afraid of Death so they fear to take the path. Thus they are prevented from being gods. Eva is another path, however: The path of the Complementation of the Soul so that all things become one. And, in the end, when all things are one, Man shall be a god in it's own right."  
  
'Man is already a god in it's own right. Man was created perfect; unlike you, Angel. God created Man first of all things from Adam, a complete being of light. Then he made you incomplete so that would be submitted to Man. Thus you are forever condemned to be inferior to Man and to never achieve what Man can.'  
  
"I am better than Man. I am an Angel. Created to destroy Man for its sins by becoming one with you, Adam."  
  
'You are envious of Man?' The creature said.  
  
"No." Kaoru frowned. Suddenly he felt rage.  
  
'Then why do you seek to destroy Man without not knowing why?'  
  
"It is my sacred task."  
  
'You 'are' envious of Man, for you will never have what Man has: Humanity. You are an Angel. You have no emotions or feelings. You can not care for others. You can not love. You can not cry. You envy Man because it is so much more. You see now why Man is perfect? It is not what it is, but what it has the possibility of being, of becoming. Growth. Life. The gentle touch of others. The love of others.'  
  
Something inside Kaoru stirred upon hearing those words. The creature was right. He did envy Man. He did envy the things he would never have, the things he was incapable off. He would never love..........he would never be human. Shinji had told him 'You are my friend, Kaoru-kun.' How could he be someone's friend if he was not even human?   
  
'You see now, Nagisa Kaoru. Man is so much more than you.' The creature said. 'You can not even imagine. Man can become a god, but you can never become human.'  
  
"I was human......" Replied the Angel as the memories of his time with Shinji scrolled in his mind. ".........In his eyes, I was human. He knew me as such. I was human..........to him."  
  
'Now you understand.'  
  
"I was human." Kaoru repeated, almost out of his control. "To him. What else matters? I am an Angel, but he thought I was human. He treated me as a friend. He welcomed me. He............touched my soul. I was human."  
  
'We are as we are perceived by the minds of others. Thought we have but one soul, we exist in countless forms in countless minds. We are what others believe we are. So, If the Third Child thought you human, you indeed were in his mind. You are willing to destroy Humanity, but you can not understand it because you thought it was a limitation of Man. How wrong were you, Nagisa Kaoru? How blind? Certainly blind enough to miss the obvious implications of what being human mean.'   
  
"But............I can't remain human. The fact that Shinji believed I was doesn't change my real existence. I exist for what I am. An Angel. I exist for myself not for others. I can not change what I am." He remembered, now, something that amused him. 'Music is the expression of Man's power.' He had told Shinji. 'It liberates the soul.'  
  
'Humans can choose their paths. Why, then, were you singing if you did not wished for your soul to be free so that you could follow your own path?'  
  
"I have a task."  
  
'You are not free.'  
  
"No."  
  
'You are not human.'  
  
Kaoru closed his eye. He began to feel something. A sensation like nothing he had felt before. Pity, humans called it. Why? Why can't you destroy them? Shinji, what would he think of me? Does he hate me?  
  
Something touched him. A gentle hand slowly brushed against his face. Kaoru opened his eyes and found himself staring at a pair of blood red jewels locked behind a short mane of blue hair. It was her face. The First Child.   
  
MIND...........  
  
"We are the same." He said.   
  
'No.'  
  
SOUL..........  
  
"Are you an Angel?"  
  
'No.'   
  
BODY.........  
  
"What are you then?" Kaoru asked.  
  
ANGEL......  
  
His own image.  
  
REI...........  
  
Rei's image.  
  
HUMAN?............  
  
Shinji's image.  
  
The girl smiled weakly and gently pressed her index finger against his lips. Her eyes gleamed. Her angelical face painted white...........like the creature.........the creature!  
  
'I am Lilith.'  
  
LILITH!............  
  
The creature's image.  
  
Rei Ayanami pulled away and spread her arms like a cross. She produced an A.T. Field that illuminated the darkness. Before Kaoru could blink, the A.T. Field changed into the shape of a red cross. He froze, horrified.  
  
"Lilith?!"  
  
Ayanami screamed as the nails were driven through her hands and impaled her to the cross. Her naked body shook and quivered. Her mouth moved, but no sounds came. Agony was obvious in her pretty face. Her red eyes burned with the pain of the body.   
  
Blood flowed. Soon Kaoru realized it was not really blood. It was LCL.  
  
There were seventeen names engraved on the cross. The names of the Angels. Names only known to their creator. On top of all the names where four letters.  
  
HYHV.  
  
Rei screams  
  
"What are we all? Aren't we the same? Ayanami Rei, aren't you just like me? No. Ayanami? Lilith? But Ayanami is human, right?"  
  
"See?" A voice spoke. Loud like thunder, and yet gentle. It echoed in the back of Kaoru's mind, drowning the girl's screams. "Man was given the gift of perfection, but at the same time he was given Humanity. Humanity is by nature imperfect. This is a grave paradox, for as long as Man is human it can not be perfect. Thus Man must shed Humanity to become a god. But Humanity is Man's power to be superior."  
  
"Man was created first of all things......" Rei said. Slowly she lifted her head and looked at Kaoru with tearful eyes. Eyes red like warm blood. "......from a single being. From the ten elements of the Sephirotic System. From the design of perfection. Angels were created afterwards; incomplete. They can not feel, or love. They can not be human."  
  
"But Shinji thought I was. So I indeed was." Said Kaoru.  
  
"So you experienced it. You know how it feels. Do you really wish to destroy such a beautiful thing? Do you really wish to destroy Humanity?"  
  
"But Ayanami is not human either?" said Kaoru.  
  
"Rei Ayanami was not born human. She was made human by the Third Child." The voice said.   
  
Kaoru's eyes shot open and the image disappeared instantly. The crucified girl transformed into the creature. Beauty into Savagery. Rei into............  
  
"Adam..........no. Lilith!"   
  
Unit 02 collapsed in a broken heap on the LCL bellow, causing a tidal wave of the red liquid. Its head smashed open by Unit 01's progressive knife. Kaoru turned just as Unit 01 lunged forward and enveloped him in a iron grip. He could have stopped it with his A.T. Field; but he didn't.  
  
"Shinji......" He whispered. He could see the boy now, through the Eva's angered eyes. He understood what he had to do.  
  
Inside the entry-plug, Shinji could barely contain the tears as he focused on the small being he held in his hand. Kaoru looked back at him, peering straight through his soul.   
  
"Why, Kaoru? Why?"   
  
"I had to do it."  
  
"WHY DID YOU BETRAYED ME?!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Shinji-kun.......I was meant to live forever with her. But it would mean the destruction of Humanity. I was meant to live, but I must die so that you all can live."  
  
He felt the Eva's grip tighten around him. Shinji could kill so easily.   
  
"What are you talking about, Kaoru-kun?" Shinji hesitated, although he knew what Kaoru meant. He knew. God, he knew.  
  
"Why............why.......why..........why..........."  
  
"My last words, Shinji-kun. Thank you for making my existence worth while." Kaoru said. He saw Rei looking at him through one of the observation windows. Their eyes met and Kaoru smiled at her.   
  
"Rei Ayanami was not born human, but you made her human. So, you too made me human, Shinji-kun."   
  
The Eva squeezed tightly.   
  
"Thank you, Shinji-kun."  
  
Kaoru died without saying another word.   
  
Even after the head of the Angel fell on the sea of LCL, Shinji could still hear his words; and started crying.  
  
  
XXXX  
  
End.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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